Today at Mom Group, there was a new Mama! She was so perky and happy, and just looked so relieved to have found a support group. About half way through group, I mentioned that I am dealing with Mastitis round 6!!! She came over and wanted to talk about her experience. Her baby is 9 weeks old, and she has mastitis so bad that her skin is peeling off of her breast! How crazy is that! I can't even imagine how painful that must be for her. Anyway, while we were chatting, she mentioned that her father had been in town, and it was difficult because he is almost 400 pounds! So we instantly clicked.
I don't think anyone can truly understand how heartbreaking it is to watch your own parent kill themself with food, unless you are experiencing it. Having my Dad around is so bitter sweet. I love his company, and getting to know him again, but it is just devastating to see him in this state. Remember, last Christmas he was 404 pounds, I bet he has packed on at least another 50 pounds. So sad. I wish I could some how motivate him, or help him, but I don't see that happening. I tried to have a conversation with him when he was here for Christmas, and he said he was going to try to loose the weight...that obviously didn't work out. I think the saddest part is not that he could die any day, but that he might live for another 20 years like this. Sigh. Anyway, I'm glad I met a new Mama that is going through similar things with her Dad. It's funny because he too has isolated himself from his family. He moved away, and she is the only one he speaks to now. It's like we have the same Dad or something. Crazy.
In other news, I have mastitis AGAIN! I actually went to the ER yesterday morning because I was in so much pain, my whole body was shaking. They did an ultrasound on my breast, and they said that my ducts are dilated too much. I'm not really sure what this means, but, it hurts. I have to go into a new OB tomorrow, and possibly try some penicillin. The ER doctor seemed to think that the one time I had a reaction to it isn't that big of a deal, and we could try it and see what happens. At this point, I'm willing to try anything! My supply is gone. I can not get even a drop out of my right side, and my left gives about 2oz. I am having to give Piper bottles from my freezer stash after every feed. Next week I will be out of frozen milk, so I will be switching to formula. The thought of watching her drink formula makes me want to puke. It brings tears to my eyes every time I think about it. I can not get over feeling like my body is failing me, and I am failing Piper. Such a crappy feeling.
I hate that I haven't heard from you yet. Some special investigator call from the Navy today to ask about your location, or something. I didn't have any information for him, so I just told him I didn't know. I was confused, I thought they could just contact you? Then I thought maybe it was a test or something. I don't know, I wish I knew where you were.
We are all praying so hard for you, and hoping you are safe. From what the news is showing, things are pretty calm over there for the moment. Everyone is talking about how they will retaliate, so it is just so worrisome thinking how close you are. I hope you know that we are thinking about you, and missing you so very very much! Piper had such a sad little face earlier today, and I kept thinking it was because she missed her Daddy. We love you so so so so so much Bredin!
Your wife and baby,
Mari-Cait and Piper
This is Pip getting ready for a walk in her new stroller! She loves not being in the car seat!
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